Daily Meditations for Tough Times

Where Do You Get Your Joy?

Where do you get your joy?

What makes you happy in the morning? What brings a smile to your face? Is it your child who is the light of your life? Does his big eyes looking up at you make you feel like you can conquer the world?

Where, for that matter, do you get your strength? What makes you feel like you can face almost anything? Is it your bank account? Do you feel like you have enough saved that you can get by if you need to?

What makes you feel safe? Is it your job or your mate? Have you been with your company so long you think you could never end up on the unemployment line? Or has your marriage been so good for so long you can see yourself living any other type of life?

How about your confidence and self-esteem? Have you gone through so much that you know you have the internal resources to face any challenges? Or were you really, really lucky and had a parent who loved you and made you feel like there was no one else like you in this world?

If you have all of those things - a beautiful child, a safe job, a good mate or good parents - consider yourself lucky. Be happy you've had the opportunity to experience those things and those people - they are what make up many of the blessings of your life. A lot of people would give all they have to experience those people and those things as well. Reflect on them. Enjoy them. But be warned....

Joy, strength, security and self-esteem don't come by way of external things or reliance on other people. What happens when your child grows up and you rarely see him? Will you still smile? What happens when your job and bank are downsized? Will you still feel secure? And what happens when your mate or parent dies (we all do eventually)? Will you still feel secure and good about yourself?

I don't ask these things to be morbid or to impact your gratefulness about your life. I say these things to remind you of one very important thing: Joy, strength, security and self-esteem come from within. They come from believing in something or Someone higher than yourself. They come from personal self-development, life lessons learned and your personal commitment to get the most out of life.

Simply put, remember this: be grateful for all those who have made your life unique. Be grateful for the things that have enhanced your life. But know that those things and those people are only here for a little while. What will lasts and what matters the most are the visions you carry on the inside. The personal Strength and Drive that make you who you are.

Don't rely on other people or on other things to give you what you can give to yourself. Find within yourself your personal joy, your personal security, your personal self-confidence and your personal Strength.

And they can never be taken away...

For Those Of Us That Are Control Freaks...

For those of us who are control freaks, I have a word of consolation.

Let me reassure you of something you've always feared:

Here it is:  If you just let go of your rigidly, over-planned life for just one second, it'll still be okay.

The world will not spin apart, life will not end as you know it and everything will most likely be just fine.

If you take a vacation from work, the work will still get done and you will not get fired.

If you allow your spouse to spend time with the kids, they will still get fed, take their naps, have their diapers changed and be the healthy, adorable kids you know them to be.

If you eat one thing more than you intended for lunch, you will not gain five pounds.

If you show up five minutes late for your appointment (due to totally unforeseen circumstances), your client will understand - especially if you're normally on time.

Similarly, if your life has not turned out to be what you expected thus far, you still have time.

If you still haven't found that perfect mate, there's still hope.

And if you see no plan or purpose for your life at all - you still have today.

Here's a final note to those of us who are control freaks:

You cannot control anyone or anything. As a matter of fact, you can barely control yourself. You can only do what you can do when you are able to do it. You have done the absolute best you can with what you have and you will continue to do better as you heal emotionally and learn more about life.

You are not in control and you never will be. There will always be circumstances that will happen whether or not you plan for every contingency. You will now have to learn what words and phrases like "go with the flow" "be flexible" and "be prepared for anything" really mean. Because that's LIFE. Unpredictable, illogical, yet filled with wonder.

Let go. Take a vacation. Take a day off. Eat a bowl of ice cream. It's okay - the world will not end. Take today to enjoy what you have right where you are - acknowledging you have done your absolute best to accomplish your dreams, further your career and make a difference in this world.

Forgive yourself for anything you've done wrong and mentally prepare yourself for the next challenge you will surely face.

And remember: YOU CANNOT CONTROL EVERYTHING.

So stop trying...

It's Okay to Get Angry...

It's okay to get angry.

It's okay to stand up for yourself.

It's okay to pause, take a deep breath, and express yourself clearly.

It's okay to take the time to say exactly what you mean.

It's okay to let someone know you didn't like something they said or did.

And it's perfectly okay to speak for those who cannot be heard. To stick up for the downtrodden, the overlooked and the oppressed....

But....

It's not okay to use your anger to demean somebody else.

It's not okay to take it out on your spouse, your child or your co-worker.

For the most part, it's not okay to scream or yell or be abusive.

And it's certainly not okay to rage out of control.

You have a responsibility to express your anger in the most constructive way possible.

In a way that makes your point, but spares others' feelings.

In a way that honors who you are and what you stand and fight for.

And, finally, in a way that builds instead of destroys.

You are working for IMPROVEMENT in life - you are not trying to tear anyone or anything down.

Use your anger productively.

Be the master of it and don't allow it to master you.

You Almost Always Have a Second Chance

Life will often give you do-overs.

You fail your driving test once, they usually let you do it again.

You marry for all the wrong reasons the first time, you can usually found another mate.

You alienate your best friend through a misunderstanding once, she'll usually give you a chance to make it up to her.

Life often gives you second chances - but not always.

You may argue with your mother once, stop speaking for a year and then she unexpectedly passes away.

Or you do so badly on a presentation at work that instead of being understanding (like you expect them to), they fire you and you're unexpectedly out of a job.

Or you may think you'll have a second opportunity to apply for the police academy, until they institute a hiring freeze which outlasts your eligibility.

You almost always have a second chance, but not always.

The key is to do the best that you can when you can. Give your best, give your all and hope that this opportunity is the one. Prepare, practice, anticipate and strategize. Know what you want and be willing to do what is necessary to go after it.

And - whatever you do - don't you dare take opportunities for granted. Unless you are completely unprepared or distracted, make the most out of the doors that are opened to you. Don't assume you will  get a second chance or that you can wait until next week or next year or 10 years from now to get done what you need to do.

DO IT NOW.

And - if by some tragedy you try and you fail, just hope and pray life will give you a second chance.

And be prepared for that.

The Ineffectiveness of Multi-Tasking

You have a lot of things you need to do.

You have your career to worry about.

You may be married or in a serious relationship (or seriously hoping to be in one!).

You probably have children (or are contemplating having a child).

You have educational concerns.

The economy is tanking.

Your job may be moving you to a new location.

Plus, you're trying to get your weight to a certain level, or you're trying to get a new car or something is going on that desperately needs your attention.

The point is - you're busy.

As a matter of fact, busy should almost be eliminated from your vocabulary because when are you not?  Busy could very easily be substituted for the word 'normal' because that is how your life pretty much always is.

This is why you should not attempt to multi-task.

Multi-tasking is highly inefficient. The more things you try to do at once, the less you can actually devote quality attention to any one of those things. It's possible to do two things at once reasonably well, but only if one of those tasks are not very challenging.

For example, you can watch tv (that doesn't take much mental energy) and write a letter, but it's very difficult for you to write a letter and program your DVD player at the same time (both require too much attention). Conversely, it's difficult to raise young children while going back to school or train for a marathon while putting in 80 hours a week at work.

You CAN have it all - just not all at the same time.

Meaning, you can focus on raising your small children this year and, when they get a little older, you can finally go back to school.

Or, you can put in 80 hours a week at your job for career advancement now and train for a marathon two years from now when your job is a little more secure (and you're a little better paid).

It's really, really, really hard to do more than one tough thing at a time well.

Focus instead on the most important and pressing thing you need to do today. Do that well and give it most of your energy. Of course, accomplish all those small things that you HAVE to do, like going to work, grocery shopping, cleaning the house, etc. But save the greater amount of your energy and drive for that most important thing.

And when that thing is accomplished (or well in hand), then move on to the next task.

Until you accomplish all those things that are important to you.

One Single-Task at a time :)

And the Bad Days Come...

Bad days will come.

No matter how many positive affirmations you say.

No matter how good you are to people.

No matter how resiliently you put a smile on your face.

People die.

Friends leave.

Marriages end.

Jobs are downsized.

Nights are lonely.

And life is tough.

No matter how good you are, how competent you are, how good-looking you are, how spiritual you are or how much you've 'got it going on.'

Bad days will come.

But that's okay.

Because they happen to the best and worst of us.

Just like the sun shines on everyone, so does the rain come down on everyone.

Some things are fate, some things are bad luck and some things are karma. What goes around comes around and sometimes it's just your time.

Some things are meant to toughen you, some things are meant to toughen others and sometimes there are lessons to be learned and taught.

Sometimes it's just a down year or a down month or a down day.

But just as the bad days come, so do the good. These things are cyclical, so just as you're having the worst time in your life, your best time probably just right around the corner.

And - you know what? I bet you appreciate that good time so much more after getting through that rotten period of time. I am in no way suggesting that you should be happy about the pain - but I am CERTAINLY suggesting you should be happy knowing that this pain too shall pass.

And you'll smile again.

And you'll go see some silly movie and find yourself laughing out loud.

And your appetite will return.

And your hopes will be renewed.

Until you can't quite remember what it was that had you so down and blue in the first place.....

The bad days come......

But so do the good!

Keep hope alive :)

It's Going to Be Alright II

It's going to be alright.

You can handle whatever challenge you are facing.

You've done it before and you can do it again.

You're stronger than you used to be.

You're more confident than  you used to be.

Things that would have made you cry a year ago are barely obstacles any more.

It's going to be alright.

No matter how bad it seems, you can rest assured that you're going to make it.

Times are going to get better.

Life is going to get easier.

You just have to get through....right...now.

And you can do it!

Just hold on.

Breathe.

Remember the last time something like this happened.

And how you made it through.

And remind yourself:

You're stronger than you used to be.

You're more confident than you used to be.

You've done it before and you can do it again.

YOU CAN HANDLE THIS CHALLENGE THAT YOU'RE FACING.

Now get through it.

What Are You Waiting For?

What are you waiting for? A sign from God? A miraculous event? Opportunity knocking at your door?

Why haven't you accomplished your goals? Wait - let me guess - you're too tired. Or too busy. You're too distracted or have enough on your hands just trying to make ends meet. Right?

No - it's the economy. No, not that - it's because your spouse is having problems. Or your mom. Or your sister is in bad health.

I'm sure it's at least one of these things. Or even things I haven't begun to imagine.

Know how I know? Because it's always something. There is always a perfectly valid reason or perfectly valid excuse for you not doing what needs to be done.

And there always will be.

Right up until the day you are old and gray.

Until you've put in 25 years at a job you hate.

Or spent 30 years with someone you don't like.

Or until your mom finally loosens her grip on your life.

Right up until, well, until it's the end of your life.

Are you willing to risk your life on the possibility of getting to your dream 'one day', 'some day', or 'hopefully soon?' I hope not. I hope you finally realize - TODAY - that even making one small step towards your dream can overcome a lifetime of apathy, distraction and wasted time.

What are you waiting for? A sign from God? A miraculous event? Opportunity knocking at your door?

Stop waiting. Start acting.

Before it's too late...

Think Outside the Box

Challenge your thinking on a regular basis.

It's okay to get all the information, check your facts and explore possible outcomes. It's good to bounce ideas off your co-workers, engage in a fact-checking mission, do spreadsheets with pros and cons and sleep on it.

But once you get past all these necessities, it's good to think outside the box. Challenge yourself to move your thoughts to a different place. Contemplate something you've never done before. Question your assumptions. Find out why you do what you do, what worked before, what failed but seemed to have promise.

See, just because something is over doesn't mean you can't still learn from it. It may have been a humiliating failure or a roaring success, but there are still lessons to be learned. Re-live it, and re-evaluate what made it that success or failure.

Contemplate how you can do things better. Contemplate how you can take the knowledge learned in a whole new direction. Contemplate synthesis and re-organization. Think about consolidation and cutting away the fat. Whatever needs to be done, contemplate on those things.

Challenge your thinking. Truly think outside the box and see what new combinations will occur!

Remember That Which is Good

When you find yourself in a tough place, remember that which is good.

Remember that you are loved.

Remember that you have friends.

Remember that you have made a difference in this world.

Remember that your life is about something more important than clothes, cars, how big your house is or other material things.

Remember that you decided a long time ago not to sweat the small stuff.

Remember that - in the end - this stupid stuff won't matter at all!

Remember that you have a purpose.

Remember that you have your goals.

And remember that you will achieve the life of your dreams.

Remember you...